Prom is on May 27th

By that time, I want to be 110 lbs or less.

February 12th: 123lbs
ONE WEEK GOAL (next Thursday): 120lbs

I can do this!

im kinda nervous. ugh i feel so stupid writing this, but there is this guy i really like. i have always liked him, and we've had a thing since 8th grade! but he hurt me real bad last year. more than anyone has ever hurt me. he completely humiliated me and treated my like crap. i didnt stop loving him after that though. i tried so hard getting over all of the bullshit, but it never worked. anyway, i think hes showing interest now?
and there is this other guy, who is not friends with my friends, he is older, and is kind of ghetto> ha wow i sound so stupid, but who cares@!!! ok anyway.
he is not totally accepted by my friends..like i give a crap, but still
im seeing him tomorrow night. IM NERVOUS. where we gonna go and what will we do??ahhh nervessss
will keep updating :)

ASTHMA ATTACK DURING WORKOUT TODAY, only burned 277 cals, DAMMIT
but on the bright side, im doing really well.

food isnt even appealing anymore

Things are finally looking up, although I did gain 10lbs the past 4 months and will not fit into ANY of my pants!
But i have 3 weeks to lose weight :) and i totally know i will do it

the day has come. I AM BACK ON TRACK :)

Yesterday was great, I really stayed in control. Tonight I am going out to dinner with my roommates to a really cute cafe, where I can have a great salad with absolutely no carbs :)

This morning I had a bowl of cereal and started getting full, so I stopped eating it...which is a huge improvement for me, because I never know when to stop! but things are going to change, i swear.

Today:
Breakfast: Cereal
All throughout the day: peanuts
Dinner: Salad

FUCK FOOD.

FASTING TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

Breakfast: Coffee

Lunch: Salad

Dinner: Nuts, fruits, seeds

NOTHING PAST 8:00!

Go running, and do abs

Breakfast:
Coffee every morning, but if hungry you have 2 options (a chocolate sandwich OR cereal)
After breakfast, immediately leave the cheder ochel because you tend to eat more than you want!

Lunch:
Skip lunch everyday, but if you are hungry, go to lunch and do not eat ANY type carb or bread!

Dinner:
On pizza and pasta nights-->ONE plate!

Usually you should skip dinner and eat fruit or nuts in the dorm

NO SNACKING DURING THE DAY
NO BUYING ICE COFFEE OR ICE CREAM FROM OFER'S

Wow, I am getting pretty fat! 
I want to quit bread and chocolate all together.
I know that its not possible, but I am willing to give it a try for this week. Why not, right?
So here's how its going to go...

SUNDAY: NO BREAD OR CHOCOLATE
MONDAY: NO BREAD OR CHOCOLATE
Tuesday: Try my absolute hardest to not eat bread!

I will update! 

alright. that's it! that's just it! i am so sick of my own bullshit. i am fat. like really fucking fat. i weigh 110lbs. i am too fat to even lose 5lbs!?! what the fuck is wrong with me. i want to kill myself. i am such a piece of shit; a failure; a nobody; a lardo. i cannot believe it's even come down to this. CANT LOSE 5LBS!? an overweight fatty cant lose just 5lbs? well that's it!

Things to NEVER IN LIFE eat again unless packaged individually with reasonable calorie:

1. Cereal
2. Brownies

I binged on those 2 foods today. i am leaving for israel in 3 days and i cannot look like a fatty on the beach! omg omg omg i am sooo fucking stupid. i hate myself soo much.

TOMORROW-
Banana
Apple
Orange

Exercise-
30 minutes walking at 3.6 on treadmill
50 leg lifts each side
200 crunches
10 minutes ab workout

Well, today pretty much sucked balls. I woke up pretty late, and ate an apple and 14 cherries.
I went upstairs, watched some TV, and about 2 hours later---ATE A HUGE MASSIVE BOWL OF CEREAL!!!!
THENNNNN I went to my friends house and ate a large piece of CHERRY FUCKING PIE. like, WHAT!? who the fuck does that? what kind of person does that with an eating disorder? a failure-that's who. but wait, im not even done yet. i went to the mall, where i ate a medium sized cup of ice cream and general chow chicken!!!!! EWWW. how can i eat things like that when food repulses me? this morning i was 109.5! that means tomorrow morning i'll prob be around 111. GREAT, YOU FUCKING FAT WHALE!

thank god for my texting buddy. dont know what i'd do without her.
Tomorrow i will wake up, go to the gym and burn 500 calories. not 300, not 400, but 500 calories! then, i will drink some coffee with a little bit of skim milk.
my dad is taking me out tomorrow to buy me a new i-pod and a camera! so i'll be pretty busy during the day and not bored at home ;) which is always good...
the only calories allowed tomorrow is the skim milk in my coffee. mark my word.

goodbye lovelies.

1. I will eat when I am hungry
2. I will not eat when I am not hungry
3. I will stop eating when I feel satisfied
4. I will eat breakfast every morning
5. I will not eat crap
6. I will exercise everyday

I bought cereal and fruit today at the market.
Gotta be careful around the cereal though...it's a binge food!

I am SO excited for tomorrow! My camp friends are coming in from new york and we are going to a huge party!!

alright, I'm out. peace xo

This morning I had a bowl of oatmeal (100)
Then my friend came over and we went out to lunch, where I had a bread roll with olive oil (300) and a pesto salad with salmon (1000? NO IDEA!)

I am GROSS. and FAT!

I will say that I've eaten about 1400 calories today, and it is only 2:30 PM

Dinner will probably be starbucks coffee...

Okay, you know what! I am so sick of saying I will do something, and NOT FUCKING DOING IT! I keep saying I will not plan again, BUT EVERY POST IS A PLAN FOR THE NEXT DAY! I cannot do that anymore. I am done planning.

Disregard the plan I last posted. Simply because I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING IT. How's that? No more planning, and seriously this time.

all i know is that some point tomorrow i will be eating sushi tomorrow with friends and go shopping

breakfast will be oatmeal (100) and then walking for 30 minutes

Breakfast: Oatmeal
30 minute walk
Shopping
Lunch with friends: Sushi (400)
Shopping some more
Starbucks..not sure yet

i am EXHAUSTED. i
ll post tomorrow.