The life of a fat chick gone mad

Sun, 15 Feb 2009 23:28:23 GMT

Prom is on May 27th

By that time, I want to be 110 lbs or less.

FINALLY SETTING SOME GOALS

Fri, 13 Feb 2009 03:39:37 GMT

February 12th: 123lbs
ONE WEEK GOAL (next Thursday): 120lbs

I can do this!

Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:32:10 GMT

im kinda nervous. ugh i feel so stupid writing this, but there is this guy i really like. i have always liked him, and we've had a thing since 8th grade! but he hurt me real bad last year. more than anyone has ever hurt me. he completely humiliated me and treated my like crap. i didnt stop loving him after that though. i tried so hard getting over all of the bullshit, but it never worked. anyway, i think hes showing interest now?
and there is this other guy, who is not friends with my friends, he is older, and is kind of ghetto> ha wow i sound so stupid, but who cares@!!! ok anyway.
he is not totally accepted by my friends..like i give a crap, but still
im seeing him tomorrow night. IM NERVOUS. where we gonna go and what will we do??ahhh nervessss
will keep updating :)

ASTHMA ATTACK DURING WORKOUT TODAY, only burned 277 cals, DAMMIT
but on the bright side, im doing really well.

food isnt even appealing anymore

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 04:36:39 GMT

Things are finally looking up, although I did gain 10lbs the past 4 months and will not fit into ANY of my pants!
But i have 3 weeks to lose weight :) and i totally know i will do it

FINALLY

Thu, 18 Dec 2008 08:56:08 GMT

the day has come. I AM BACK ON TRACK :)

Yesterday was great, I really stayed in control. Tonight I am going out to dinner with my roommates to a really cute cafe, where I can have a great salad with absolutely no carbs :)

This morning I had a bowl of cereal and started getting full, so I stopped eating it...which is a huge improvement for me, because I never know when to stop! but things are going to change, i swear.

Today:
Breakfast: Cereal
All throughout the day: peanuts
Dinner: Salad

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:34:23 GMT

FUCK FOOD.

FASTING TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!

WEDNESDAY

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:26:14 GMT

Breakfast: Coffee

Lunch: Salad

Dinner: Nuts, fruits, seeds

NOTHING PAST 8:00!

Go running, and do abs

NEW RULES TO LIVE BY...

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 11:24:24 GMT

Breakfast:
Coffee every morning, but if hungry you have 2 options (a chocolate sandwich OR cereal)
After breakfast, immediately leave the cheder ochel because you tend to eat more than you want!

Lunch:
Skip lunch everyday, but if you are hungry, go to lunch and do not eat ANY type carb or bread!

Dinner:
On pizza and pasta nights-->ONE plate!

Usually you should skip dinner and eat fruit or nuts in the dorm

NO SNACKING DURING THE DAY
NO BUYING ICE COFFEE OR ICE CREAM FROM OFER'S

Fri, 12 Dec 2008 11:16:29 GMT

Wow, I am getting pretty fat!
I want to quit bread and chocolate all together.
I know that its not possible, but I am willing to give it a try for this week. Why not, right?
So here's how its going to go...

SUNDAY: NO BREAD OR CHOCOLATE
MONDAY: NO BREAD OR CHOCOLATE
Tuesday: Try my absolute hardest to not eat bread!

I will update!

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 03:36:50 GMT

things to live off of:

diet soda
sucking candies
gum
apples

Sat, 28 Jun 2008 02:42:09 GMT

200 calories tomorrow!

Thu, 26 Jun 2008 03:05:16 GMT

alright. that's it! that's just it! i am so sick of my own bullshit. i am fat. like really fucking fat. i weigh 110lbs. i am too fat to even lose 5lbs!?! what the fuck is wrong with me. i want to kill myself. i am such a piece of shit; a failure; a nobody; a lardo. i cannot believe it's even come down to this. CANT LOSE 5LBS!? an overweight fatty cant lose just 5lbs? well that's it!

Things to NEVER IN LIFE eat again unless packaged individually with reasonable calorie:

1. Cereal
2. Brownies

I binged on those 2 foods today. i am leaving for israel in 3 days and i cannot look like a fatty on the beach! omg omg omg i am sooo fucking stupid. i hate myself soo much.

TOMORROW-
Banana
Apple
Orange

Exercise-
30 minutes walking at 3.6 on treadmill
50 leg lifts each side
200 crunches
10 minutes ab workout

the whale speaks

Sun, 22 Jun 2008 01:46:48 GMT

Well, today pretty much sucked balls. I woke up pretty late, and ate an apple and 14 cherries.
I went upstairs, watched some TV, and about 2 hours later---ATE A HUGE MASSIVE BOWL OF CEREAL!!!!
THENNNNN I went to my friends house and ate a large piece of CHERRY FUCKING PIE. like, WHAT!? who the fuck does that? what kind of person does that with an eating disorder? a failure-that's who. but wait, im not even done yet. i went to the mall, where i ate a medium sized cup of ice cream and general chow chicken!!!!! EWWW. how can i eat things like that when food repulses me? this morning i was 109.5! that means tomorrow morning i'll prob be around 111. GREAT, YOU FUCKING FAT WHALE!

thank god for my texting buddy. dont know what i'd do without her.
Tomorrow i will wake up, go to the gym and burn 500 calories. not 300, not 400, but 500 calories! then, i will drink some coffee with a little bit of skim milk.
my dad is taking me out tomorrow to buy me a new i-pod and a camera! so i'll be pretty busy during the day and not bored at home ;) which is always good...
the only calories allowed tomorrow is the skim milk in my coffee. mark my word.

goodbye lovelies.

Sat, 21 Jun 2008 02:57:07 GMT

DOING SO WELL.

DOWN T0 108LBS

Wed, 18 Jun 2008 01:17:44 GMT

today: 110

monday: 105

starting 2468

tomorrow! :)

NEW ME

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 23:57:41 GMT

1. I will eat when I am hungry
2. I will not eat when I am not hungry
3. I will stop eating when I feel satisfied
4. I will eat breakfast every morning
5. I will not eat crap
6. I will exercise everyday

I bought cereal and fruit today at the market.
Gotta be careful around the cereal though...it's a binge food!

I am SO excited for tomorrow! My camp friends are coming in from new york and we are going to a huge party!!

alright, I'm out. peace xo

Today

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 18:30:07 GMT

This morning I had a bowl of oatmeal (100)
Then my friend came over and we went out to lunch, where I had a bread roll with olive oil (300) and a pesto salad with salmon (1000? NO IDEA!)

I am GROSS. and FAT!

I will say that I've eaten about 1400 calories today, and it is only 2:30 PM

Dinner will probably be starbucks coffee...

DONE

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 14:25:20 GMT

Okay, you know what! I am so sick of saying I will do something, and NOT FUCKING DOING IT! I keep saying I will not plan again, BUT EVERY POST IS A PLAN FOR THE NEXT DAY! I cannot do that anymore. I am done planning.

Disregard the plan I last posted. Simply because I DONT FEEL LIKE DOING IT. How's that? No more planning, and seriously this time.

Tue, 17 Jun 2008 04:04:51 GMT

all i know is that some point tomorrow i will be eating sushi tomorrow with friends and go shopping

breakfast will be oatmeal (100) and then walking for 30 minutes

Breakfast: Oatmeal
30 minute walk
Shopping
Lunch with friends: Sushi (400)
Shopping some more
Starbucks..not sure yet

i am EXHAUSTED. i
ll post tomorrow.

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 19:57:30 GMT

TODAY: 110 lbs

NEXT
MONDAY: 105 lbs

Good morning!

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 13:52:23 GMT

Breakfast: Luna bar (180)
Lunch: Tofu (400)
Dinner: Soup OR an omelet (120)

700 day tomorrow

Mon, 16 Jun 2008 03:01:43 GMT

Tomorrow is 700 calories

Wake up
Drink coffee (40)
Go to the GYM to burn at least 400 calories by doing 20 minutes on the elliptical and 20 minutes on the treadmill
Get a pedicure
Take the dog for a walk around the block
If hungry-have the left over tofu (300 calories)
Movies with friends -- THE HAPPENING --> so excited!
If hungry-Soup? Or a lean cuisine? Not sure yet...

Fuck, I am full of dinner. ewwww

but my massage today was AMAZING!

i know i just posted

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 13:37:51 GMT

but i just did 250 sit ups, and 50 leg lifts on each side and jogged for about 5 minutes outside. i'm sweating.
i feel a TINY bit better. but i am still pure lard.

i feel like such a failure.
and not just now.
at life.

the only reason i am still here is because of my love for israel and the wait for my turn to defend my country by serving in the israeli army.

ugh, FATASS SPEAKING

Sun, 15 Jun 2008 12:58:20 GMT

i am in a horrible mood. i feel like i'd just be better off killing myself right now. there is no point anymore! if i cant fucking lose weight, i dont know what i am going to do. i am so fat it is unbelievable. my lard just hangs over all my clothes.

i really hate father's day. and mother's day. they involve family and food--horrible combination.

but my brother and i are going to the BEACH today with my dad's girlfriend who is a FUCKING STICK!!!!!

meanwhile, last night i was redeemed i've been in love with this guy for the past 2 years, and last night i realized that i am done. i am done trying and i am just sick of his stupid bullshit. i am really relieved that it is over. but i kinda never wanna see him again because i just want him to be OUT OF MY LIFE!

it is only 9:00 and i've already consumed about 500 calories worth of gross cereal. what was i doing!?
i woke up STARVING. ew.

NEW PROMISE THAT CANNOT BE BROKEN:
Monday (tomorrow) I will have 700 calories or less
Tuesday: I will have 900 calories + alcohol

2 days...i should lose about 2lbs

Sat, 14 Jun 2008 04:08:41 GMT

I am really tired. Wanted to post before I go to sleep...

Tomorrow should be really fun. In the morning I will eat a tangerine, and then go to the gym for as long as I feel like.
Then I will come home and shower to go out to lunch with friends, can't get out of this one :(
I really want to go shopping also! I'm excited!

I HATE that I plan my days, but it just makes me feel calmer.
I really need to stop though.

love you all xoxo